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12
votes

Utterly Pointless Kitchen Appliances

All of us are guilty of buying at least one absolutely pointless kitchen appliance in our lifetime. The following are the lamest of the lame.

Utterly Pointless Kitchen Appliances

1.

3
votes

Automatic Paper Towel Holder

Automatic Paper Towel Holder

Okay. I'm going to just assume (hopefull thinking) that this was designed for a very special class of disabled people, because I am fairly certain that I could at least tear off a paper towel with my mouth if I had no arms or legs.

2.

3
votes

Twirling Spaghetti Fork

Twirling Spaghetti Fork

The Twirling Spaghetti Fork mechanically winds pasta noodles around the metal forked end of the apparatus so that you don't have to do it yourself. Seriously? I know it can be a little much juggling the fork and spoon combo, however, once you've got the technique down, it's not THAT hard.

3.

2
votes

The Magic Bullet

The Magic Bullet

Even though it will take up 3 cabinets worth of storage space, this simple, 21-piece, single serve blender contraption, will certainly make your life easier folks. The magic bullet "does ANY job in 10 seconds or less," and only costs $99. This is a must have.

4.

2
votes

Octodog

Octodog

My initial thought was "Why in the hell would one want an Octopus shaped hotdog," but then a light went off, and thought to myself "Why in the hell wouldn't anyone want an Octopus shaped hotdog!"

5.

2
votes

Peter Petrie Egg Separator

Peter Petrie Egg Separator

I've seen quite a few different egg separator products in my time, but this, this tops it all. The most disgusting egg separator in the history of the world.

6.

1
vote

Shell Electric Egg Scrambler

Shell Electric Egg Scrambler

So, you just place an egg on the slanted needle, push through the shell, and then press down. The needle whips the egg into a perfectly smooth blend! I'm not sure what was so difficult about scrambling an egg the normal way, but apparently these folks just couldn't grasp the concept of rapidly rotating the fork in a bowl of eggs.

7.

1
vote

Roll 'n Pour

Roll 'n Pour

The plastic Roll 'n Pour is meant to make pouring liquids from a gallon, half-gallon or two-liter bottle easier by letting it smoothly tilt sideways to avoid spills. However, in reality it seems like quite the process to get a cup of juice. Apparently it's suppose to be good for small kids, but heck, if your kid is too weak to lift the orange juice, he sure wont get any stronger with this piece of crap.

8.

1
vote

Cotton Candy Maker

Cotton Candy Maker

It's probably safe to say, if anyone in their right mind has purchased a personal cotton candy maker, they probably weighs 300+ lbs and should see a doctor about this eating disorder asap.

9.

1
vote

Spaghetti Measure

Spaghetti Measure

Alright, I suppose I can see how this might be useful... to measure the girth of my wiener, that is.

10.

1
vote

The Pop-Up Hot Dog Cooker

The Pop-Up Hot Dog Cooker

Off the top of my head, I can think of about 5 different ways to cook a hot dog, all of which are pretty easy to figure out. But hey, if your one of the rare few that just can't manage to figure out how to cook a hot dog or you happen to love hot dogs enough to eat on a daily basis, this is definitely the product for you!

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